In Loving Memory

Brandon's sister-in-law Jen died early this morning of cancer. Brandon's brother Ryan (Jen's husband) called this morning and soon after, Brandon's mom Lynne called. Apparently, Jen slipped away peacefully in her sleep after having delayed breathing and going in and out of consciousness for the last 48 hours or so. Ryan, as well as Jen's parents Dean and Joanne were all present when Jen passed away. Ryan said that he woke up after a better night's rest than he'd had in a long time just at the right moment to say goodbye to his beloved wife, and he felt like Jen had waited for him. Lynne mentioned that she had been there in recent days, watching Joanne care for Jen and hold her hand while she said goodbye to her beautiful girl. Brandon and I were so thankful to hear that those who matter most to Jen were with her when she passed through the veil. After the phone calls, Brandon hugged me for about 20 minutes and then we got up to take care of Gloria and make breakfast. We talked a little bit about Ryan and Jen's courage over the past 3 years.

When Brandon and I were first married we offered to watch Noah while Ryan and Jen went to the temple. I will never forget Jen's face when she dropped off Noah. I was amazed at how much courage I saw in her face. She and Ryan had continued to attend the temple faithfully throughout her remission and treatment for as long as she was able. Eventhough she was attending the temple over concern for her health, she made it a point to make sure that Noah was comfortable and happy with Brandon and me before she left him with us. She had the cutest way of talking to her little boy. She was like that. Preparing for one of her difficult surgeries, the doctor had made marks on her face and head. Our niece Halle was very little and was giving Jen a curious look and even at that painful moment, Jen made it a point to tease Halle and make it a fun moment for her. After the surgery, when Brandon and I were able to visit Jen, I recognized that same courage in her face that I had seen months before when she was on her way to the temple. She has such pretty, piercing eyes and is such a strong woman. I couldn't believe how beautiful she looked after such an ordeal.

Jen introduced me to this quote book called Golden Nuggets of Thought. There are multiple volumes in a set. Basically, they are filled with inspirational quotes/poems to help lift the soul. I have noticed that Ryan also likes to carry around inspirational literature like the Ensign magazine as well as great books. That is what I will remember the most about them as a couple, they know where to turn for peace and comfort and good council. It reminds me of how much I love literature and that I should make it a priority to do as Ryan and Jen and read and meditate more. One of my favorite poems by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow reminds me of their legacy to seek out beautiful thoughts and uplifting words. It is called "The Day is Done."

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.
I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
That my soul cannot resist:
A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.
Come, read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling,
And banish the thoughts of day.
Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.
For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life's endless toil and endeavor;
And to-night I long for rest.
Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;
Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.
Such songs have power to quiet
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.
Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.
And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares, that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.

Jen's viewing and funeral will be in Bountiful, Utah; the viewing Thursday night from 6-8 pm and the funeral Friday morning at 11. Ryan has asked Brandon to speak at Jen's funeral about Jen and the resurrection. We love Jen so much and miss her dearly. She is part of our family and separation does not change that. This is very hard for all of her family and friends who love her and we pray that the comfort of the Holy Spirit will be with all of them and especially with Jen, we pray that she has found peace and rest from this horrible trial. She is a remarkable woman. I haven't met very many people take on such an excruciating battle with the patience and courage that Jen has. Brandon and I love Ryan and Jen and little Noah very much.