For Ryan

We love you and we are so very sorry. My family also wishes for you to know how much they love you and are so sorry for what has happened. My dad wants you to know that he would be so happy to talk to you if you would ever like to talk. And of course, Brandon and I are here to talk. I wanted to share something that my dad (Robert G. Mouritsen) wrote for me in an E-mail. He sent it to me in my last month of pregnancy while expecting Gloria. I had been especially sick and uncomfortable and the context of what he wrote to me was concerning covenants we make to those we love the most. My dad wrote,

Love is really not love until it is tested to the very limits of our ability and capability. A little child may say to his mother, “I love you,“ and the expression is sweet and sincere. But it is not until the burden of the one becomes the burden of the other that love becomes real and full. When care for, or service to, and association with, another, is easy, without challenge or difficulty, then it is not easy to identify love. But when care for, or service to, or association with, another, becomes difficult, indeed, requires the full measure of our dedication, devotion, strength, endurance and patience, then we may be sure that love has come, and that we truly love.

My parents and particularly my dad understand that principle as they have reared my sweet brother Joshua. The reason I felt like this quote was relevant is because of a conversation I had with Jen about you. It was when I was hanging out with her and Noah at Dean and Joanne's house. We talked a lot about significant events that you and Jen had been through together, including how you met, fell in love, got married, etc. But the thing that Jen really wanted to emphasize when she talked about you was how well you cared for her. She told me of a few stories where she required your help getting through the days being very sick, helping her take care of the basics, and being an emotional support to her. She said to me, "that is love." I listened very carefully to Jen that afternoon and I know that Jen knows how much you love her. She will never harbor any doubt of her worth to you. And take it from me (one who's sweet husband has stood by her in health and sickness), you are worthy of her and always will be. She knows the way Brandon and I wish for you to know how much we love you, Jen and Noah.