1 Year Ago

Very early this morning, Brandon turned to me and wished me a Happy Anniversary. Immediately, my eyes welled up with tears. I cannot believe how thankful I am that we are married. It feels so good to have been married for 1 year. I feel like we have crossed many bridges together in this past year. Brandon and I were engaged while he was a resident at the VA in Salt Lake. He completed his residency just a couple months after we were married. We compiled 80+ cover letters and resumes and sent them out to possible employers in Utah for Brandon, but with very little reply and no offers that we could really take seriously. About the same time, I injured my finger with a new kitchen knife and had microscopic nerve surgery. Although, I still have some loss of feeling in my finger and it still bothers me. The day after the surgery, we drove to Washington to pursue some opportunities for Brandon's employment. The trip lasted about a week, and soon after we got back to Utah we discovered we were pregnant! We took a second trip to Washington to look more closely at Brandon's current place of employment and to look for housing. We found an apartment in less than 3 days. I had learned at the end of the school year that my dream of teaching 11th Grade Honors English would be made a reality in the fall. I had worked for 4 years as an English teacher and had been really excited about this new opportunity. Although it was really hard, I quit my job right at the time that I could have really started to enjoy it. Then we packed up and moved ourselves out to Washington, where we had no family and knew no one.

Since then, we have had some wonderful things happen as well as disappointments. Almost as soon as we got established in Washington, Brandon needed to have hernia surgery. His recovery was very painful. I was experiencing some environment shock of not teaching anymore and living in a new place. We both felt a little lonely and homesick. I have had a very difficult pregnancy because I have been sick nearly the entire time. Upset stomach, insomnia, and mood swings have been especially challenging. Brandon has been very helpful and compassionate toward me. As soon as Brandon was recovered from his surgery, a severe flood caused damage to one of our cars and totalled it. Thankfully, our insurance company paid us the value of the car, a real blessing to us. We have been so thankful that Brandon has employment and enjoys working with a wonderful staff. We have enjoyed getting to know many friends and attending a great ward. At the same time, our hearts ache for Brandon's brother Ryan and sister-in-law Jen, who continue an uphill battle with Jen's cancer that seems interminable. We remember them in our prayers every day and love them very much.

Last week, our doctor ordered an ultrasound to make sure our baby was head down. This shouldn't have alarmed me as much as it did, but I was very upset about it because of a dear, younger brother I have who had an excruciating experience at birth that resulted in severe mental and physical handicaps and only one of the problems was that he was breech. I was so elated to discover that our baby was head down, so at least I did not have to worry about that. God really blessed us because the morning of our 37 week ultrasound, we saw our baby blink her eyes a few times at us. We also saw her rooting reflex and were told that everything looked fine, which was a great relief. We expect to become parents in the next 1-2 weeks. We are really excited. We believe that we made promises to one another and to our baby in the world before and we cannot wait to meet her in person. I am really proud of this past year. There have been some really amazing and challenging things about it. But God knows what He is doing and I do believe that Brandon and I are closer, wiser, and more loving toward each other because of what we have been through together. And I wouldn't wish our relationship to be any different.

Brandon and I watched "Million Dollar Baby" last night and there was a quote in it that I thought was very beautiful. Morgan Freeman, who supports Clint Eastwood's character and narrates throughout the film is describing Hillary Swank's character as she fights to achieve her dream of becoming champion of the world. He says, "it's the magic of risking everything for a dream nobody sees but you." When Brandon and I got married, my sister Christine told us that people who think that marriage is giving 50%, and taking 50% don't see it correctly. Couples are happiest in marriage when both people give 100% to it. I haven't met a couple that is perfect at that, and I don't think we are any different. But I have seen glimpses of what it could be like if we were to achieve that and I think that those impressions and feelings come from Heaven and I imagine they are different for everybody. Before I married Brandon, I really thought to myself that I was pretty satisfied with my life and that I had accomplished everything I had set out to do. But now I feel the opposite. I feel like there is so much more I would like to do and the thought of having Brandon by my side is what I am most thankful for. He is such a good man and I love and admire him so much. Plus, he ain't hard on the eyes. So with that, I do believe it is a very Happy Anniversary.